'Till Her Daddy Takes The Beamer Away

This chick looks like a gangster's moll.

Fresh? As opposed to what...stale?

No innuendos here folks, move along.....

What a stupid question. "No, I prefer to dig for my cigarettes in the back of the catch-all drawer on the end table where we keep the latest TV Guide, why do you ask?"


Does tobacco go stale? How can you tell?

I'm no smoker, but it seems to me that if you have to worry about your cigarettes getting stale, you don't have much of a problem.

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

In all my years as a nurse, I have never seen an auto accident happen or come across one where there wasn't anyone on scene already. Until last night.

It's after 0100. Work was slow; got out early. I'm sitting at a stoplight, singing along with Kelly Clarkson and minding my own business. A jeep is in the lane next to me, waiting for the red to change. Then...

BAM! The jeep goes flying 20 feet into the intersection. Twenty feet! Hey! We still have a red! But wait....there's a car next to me....it's a cherry red BMW and the driver is sitting behind an inflated airbag.

I was dialing 911 within 10 seconds of the initial sound. Thank god there was virtually no traffic. I circled around in a parking lot and brought my car up behind the BMW and turned on my flashers, still on the phone with 911 as I went to check on the occupants.

Scene is safe. No traffic, no gasoline smell, no smoke, only steam from what was the front of the BMW. Two drivers, no occupants. Jeep driver is out of car, stunned, ambulatory and frantically looking for her cell phone. BMW driver is sitting in the driver's seat with her hands on the steering wheel staring straight ahead until I open her door and ask if she is okay. Her first comment was "what happened"? Moves all extremities and denies pain. 911 operator says PD is on the way and we hang up.

It seemed like it took forever for PD to show up, but I know it had to have only been a few minutes. I lent my cell phone to the jeep driver and walked back and forth between the vehicles to make sure they were still okay.

The BMW driver seemed in shock, with a virtually flat affect the entire time. She didn't want to use the cellphone. Said her father was going to kill her. It was his car. Brand new.

For a reason that was not apparent to anyone on scene, this woman drives at full speed into the back of a car stopped at a red light. Dead-on straight hit. There were two empty lanes to her left, she could have swerved if she needed to. No brakes, no squealing tires....just the sick sound of the impact. Had there been any cross traffic, the jeep would have either broadsided a car or been broadsided by one.

If I had wanted that kind of excitement I could have stayed at work. As it was, I gave the PD my information as I was essentially an eyewitness. Don't think I'll be needed, it was pretty cut-and-dried as to what happened.

The odd thing? When I got home I had both neck and lower back pain, as though I had gotten rear-ended.

Now that's taking empathy a little too far....