Wednesday, November 30, 2005

The Back of the Book Segment

Shame on you!

That's the first thing that came to mind when I saw this ad. I didn't even know they made Tampax back when the world was black and white.

Frankly, I wouldn't discuss any aspect of reproductive health with this angel of mercy. She gives me the willies.

Besides "Tampax" sounds like the latest SSRI antidepressant.

(Insert own Prince of Wales joke here. No pun intended.)

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

It wasn't reproductive health that I had to deal with these last few days. Apparently the post-Thanksgiving epidemic is not the avian flu, but all-too-human constipation.

Yes, the rectums of the world are clamoring for attention.

Again.

I had a 94-year-old in one bed and an 8-month-old in the next bed. Both were having evacuation problems that made Hurricane Katrina look like a precision drum corps. Both had eaten yams at their last meal.

I suggest that all yams be sold with a complimentary Dulcolax suppository attached. It's a lot cheaper than paying for an ER visit to have someone shove tap water up where the sun don't shine.

But wait! It's our friend, Beulah France, RN! Of New York! She of the toilet paper and Wheaties ads! She's baaaaaack. And she's discussing bowel habits again.

I guess two out of three people are "FOS" at one time or another in their lives.

Which means that some people are "FOS" all the time.

Like we needed an expert to tell us that....






5 Comments:

At 11/30/2005 10:46:00 AM, Blogger Moof said...

Oh Kim! You're just too funny! *LOL*


I suggest that all yams be sold with a complimentary Dulcolax suppository attached. It's a lot cheaper than paying for an ER visit to have someone shove tap water up where the sun don't shine.


Oh! Now I'll need to come in 'cause I can't catch my breath from laughing! ;-)

.

 
At 11/30/2005 11:26:00 AM, Blogger katpatmac said...

I absolutely laughed out loud, holding my belly, after reading your comments about rectums needing attention after the holiday! Too damn funny and dead right... hats off to your great sense of humor, from one ER nurse to another.

 
At 12/01/2005 08:33:00 AM, Anonymous Sonic Nurse said...

I'm going to have to clean coffee off of my puter monitor. Funny as hell!

 
At 12/01/2005 09:23:00 AM, Blogger PaedsRN said...

I had no idea yams had that effect. Maybe instead of candied yams, we could suggest people sweeten them with Lactulose?

 
At 12/01/2005 02:48:00 PM, Blogger Dr. Charles said...

great post! that old nursing lady is pretty scary, and her feigned empathy is unnerving

 

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