And this is the improved version.
Does it come with stirrups?
Absolutely everything that comes to mind is totally inappropriate.
Oh, gee, my uterus is hanging out, I better go get a Mellier's!
They're on sale!
Today was supposed to be a day off but I am picking up four hours for a co-worker tonight.
No biggie, we help each other out at work all the time.
But I forgot....
Tonight is American Idol!
And it's voting night, too and I can't vote because I'm working until 2300.
I'm like an addict missing their visit to the methadone clinic.
If you are reading this, do a fellow blogger a favor and vote for Taylor, the grey-haired guy.
He is quirky and reminds me of Joe Cocker and quirky guys rock!
Usually there are one or two which is perfect for our department size.
We have a great ER, so they get to see what a nice community department is like and not get freaked out at the "Super Famous Medical Center With Super Hard To Get Into Medical School Whose ER Was Last Remodeled In the 1950s".
I don't have a student with me, because teaching is not one of my strong points. I'm more of the "Run with me and observe, Grasshopper. When you can grab the Ativan from my hand, you will be ready" type.
I know what I'm doing (usually) and in ER it's a combo of experience and instinct.
But students like to ask questions.
And I don't think "Uh...duh....let me stop and think about that...." gives off a good professional impression.
It is, however, good for me to do that once in awhile.
I decided I needed a make-over. So I cut my hair off.
We are talking Natalie Portman here, folks. Like if I was wearing a cap, I'd have a hell of a time finding hair to pin it to.
So short that parts of my face that had not seen the sun for a year were fluorescent white.
I had kind of an early John Denver thing going, with wire glasses and overgrown bangs that met them. Not attractive.
So I put on my contacts and actually wore a complete face full of make up. Eye shadow, the works.
Apparently I now look younger, which is great, but good lord, what DID I look like before!
I don't often lose it at work. Usually I can wait, hit my mental "Save" button and open the "Emotion" program at a more appropriate time. But every once in awhile, there is a tragic case/outcome and I start to lose it.
They say you should take time to decompress after something like that, but there is no time in the ER to go in the back and sob for twenty minutes and then come back out. No matter what happens in one room, you have a department full of patients you still have to deal with, and you have to look professional.
Being female, here are some tips that work for me, personally. Take from them what you will.
- Don't dwell. Stop thinking about the ramifications of what just happened. If you aren't directly involved in the care and came into scribe or be a "runner" leave the area and get back to your assignment.
- Distract yourself - get into another patient's room, bet back into triage. Get busy. Put on a smile and focus on the next patient, even if it takes an Academy Award performance to do it.
- Don't make eye contact with your co-workers for a few minutes after a tragedy/bad outcome. The last time I was faced with this, I glanced at my supervisor who was tearing up and I lost it.
- Wear waterproof mascara. I'm not joking.
Such is my life.