I Am A Scrubbing Bubble in the Toilet Bowl of Life

Oh man, is it a full moon or something?

I only did eight hours tonight but I'm beginning to think I work at Hell Community Hospital.

My patients were all wonderful. It's not them. They all had a sense of humor and were a pleasure to care for.

And I work in THE best ER in the San Francisco area, so it isn't the job.

It is the intensity of the illnesses, the number of patients who are seriously sick - every single patient I had tonight was admitted.

Honestly, I should have had a warning when

• The unit was full when I walked in
  

• I passed an ambulance on my way in the door and
  

• My colleague-who-is-working-on-her-PhD nearly flew out the door. She had graciously offered to work the first four hours of what should have been a twelve hour shift for me and those four hours nearly did her in.
  

The next eight were no better. For the second time in a week I had no breaks. Not one.

Okay,I lied.

30 minutes before my shift ended I shoved two cold pieces of pizza into my mouth.

No break? What was I thinking.

We pulled it off without going on ambulance diversion and that is quite a source of pride for our ED docs. To tell you the truth, it makes me feel good, too.

Ambulance diversion has its place, but 99% of the patients we get are walk-in patients, even the sickest ones, and when an ambulance is en route with a Code 3 patient (life threatening, red lights and siren) we have to take them anyway.

So while it is psychologically a relief, it really doesn't help anything in the long run.

We are one of the hosptials with the least amount of ambulance diversion.

We're good.

Ya know, sometimes ya just gotta give props to yourselves.

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I loved the title of this post. Made me laugh.

Too bad I couldn't think of a topic to go with it.

Sometimes I crack myself up....

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Note to self: you can't read the syringe if you are wearing crappy, non-progressive contact lenses.

Since Etomidate is a general anesthetic used in rapid sequence intubations, this is "bad".

In these situations it is best to hand the medication to your colleague who is not visually impaired.

I redeemed myself by reading the Succinylcholine vial all by myself.

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Okay, so I walk into Lenscrafters to get my spontaneously combusted frames replaced.

No I must tell you that up until my haircut three weeks ago I had a "John Denver" thing going.

I wore wire-rimmed glasses and my hair had grown so much that it framed my face with my bangs hitting the top of the glasses.

Now when a woman looks in the mirror and sees John Denver, it is time for a make-over.

So... I go get a major freakin' cool haircut, so very 2006. But I still have the wire glasses. That's okay, they're only six months old.

Then they break. So I walk into Lenscrafters and, to my delight, discover I had purchased replacement insurance that would give me a new pair at 50% off.

Screw these wire frames, I thought. I'm goin' designer frames....so I went for the frames they had to unlock. That's how cool these frames were.

But unfortunately it has been so difficult to cut my prescription into the lenses, they had to send them to THE BIG LAB.

So, instead of "about an hour", it's more like "about two days"

You see I have.....the big A.

Yes, it's true. I'm not ashamed. I have....astigmatism.

The bane of my life.

The reason so many beautiful vision options were closed to me over the years.

But I will not give in!

Astigmatism be damned, you will not keep me from my Versace frames!

I will have those frames if they have to get Donatella Versace herself to cut the lenses.

So, if you are ever in the San Francisco Bay Area and you see a nurse with a totally cool haircut and Versace frames, that would be me!

Oh, do stop and say hello, I won't look down on you from my Versace frames!

By the way, did I mention my new frames were Versace?