Saturday, October 29, 2005

Ask the Great Pumpkin....

Lucy thinks this is bad? She should try working in an ER. I'll take dog germs any day. In recognition of Halloween, I have compiled a list of questions I would ask The Great Pumpkin, who, as we all know, rises out of the pumpkin patch once a year to answer rhetorical questions such as:

Did Dixie McCall ever leave the nurses' station on "Emergency"?

Why is it easier to stay up until 0700 than to get up at 0700?

Why is it that when you have a child requiring transport to a pediatric facility, the patient is well enough to be throwing a football to his nurse when the transport team arrives?

Why would my husband even remotely suggest that I want to watch "Trauma In the ER" on my days off?

Why is it when a law enforcement officer seeks medical attention in the ER, the entire force on duty at that time comes in to say hi? Ditto with the fire guys?

How can they say we don't have universal access to health care when anyone at anytime can walk into any ER for any reason and by law cannot be turned away because of lack of funds?

Why are they always defibrillating patients in asystole on TV?

Have you ever noticed that if the wait is too long, patients will "self-triage" themselves out of the emergency department?

What is it about "No Cell Phones" that is so hard to comprehend?

Why is it that a person will stand in line for three hours for a flu shot and then gripe if their entire ER visit takes the same amount of time?

Ever notice how a warm blanket will soothe the cranky patient?

Why would county dispatch send four ambulances to one ER within 15 minutes when none of the other hospitals are on ambulance diversion?

Ever feel like Sally Brown when you are trying to work and it seems like the entire world is trick-or-treating?

How did the nurse on "ER" auscultate a sys-
tolic BP of 40 without a sphygmomano-
meter or a stethoscope?

Why would a facility feed into the "instant gratification" culture by placing this ad in the local paper: "It takes longer to walk to your mailbox than it does to be seen in our ER"?

And finally, how much candy will be on the break table at work tomorrow?

Happy Halloween! Here's to no tricks and a ton of treats!



11 Comments:

At 10/31/2005 05:59:00 AM, Blogger kenju said...

I hope you have tons of candy on the table tomorrow.

 
At 10/31/2005 09:02:00 AM, Blogger The Platypus said...

I haven't seen a lot of episodes, but I like Trauma: Life in the ER. It shows how things are done at different hospitals, and things often go horribly wrong but it's usually not obvious to the uninitiated. It also made me very glad I don't live in Compton: that place was nuts.

Can you guess which one I was in? Here's a clue: it went horribly wrong. :p

 
At 10/31/2005 09:18:00 AM, Blogger Julie said...

I haven't watched ER since George Clooney left and that was the sum total of my devotion. Whenever I watch a hospital type drama I get extremely irate at the behaviour of the doctors, nurses and patients and also the rubbish politics. My husband is always telling me that this is fiction, but it is no concellation to me.

hope you get plenty of candy!

 
At 10/31/2005 10:28:00 AM, Blogger Heather said...

"Why are they always defibrillating patients in asystole on TV?"

I am glad that bothers someone else too!

 
At 10/31/2005 01:01:00 PM, Blogger Dr. Deborah Serani said...

I remember having to go to the ER on March 17th. I was in terrible pain that ended up being appendicitis. But what helped me more than anything was seeing the ER nurses and staff wearing green and shamrocks, etc. I can only imagine today and tonite, when people pour into the local hospital, that the ER nurses are in their Halloween garb making others feel not so afraid!!


~Deb

 
At 10/31/2005 02:13:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Funny. They said that Petey's mask was so good that it scared the staff, or "some of the girls" as he called them.

I'm just wearing a tail myself. Subtle, yet effective.

 
At 10/31/2005 06:01:00 PM, Blogger I am a Milliner's Dream, a woman of many "hats"... said...

I am QUITE certain that Dixie never left the nurses station on "Emergency"--in fact, I think she never left the communications corner that took calls from the paramedics, where she said, "10-4, tranport" all the time.

And I have seen a warm blanket soothe a client, cranky family member, doctor AND nurse!

Hh

 
At 10/31/2005 09:05:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Another fabulous post.

Just got back from a lovely 12 hour day in the ER +/- one "princess crown" headband. The warm blanket Rx...it's amazing. One of the few things I can "apply" as a nurse, without direction, order, or adverse effects that is always welcomed. As one 89 year old man put it, "That warm blanket just knocked me out!" Perhaps...one could design a randomized, controlled trial with warmed/unwarmed flannels...hmmm...

Happy Halloween!

 
At 11/01/2005 12:45:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"How can they say we don't have universal access to health care when anyone at anytime can walk into any ER for any reason and by law cannot be turned away because of lack of funds?"

Well, they may not be turned away for lack of funds, but I betcha that hospital lawyers and collection agencies are all over them to recoup expenses. It's very very expensive to get sick without insurance in this country.

 
At 11/01/2005 05:59:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes, it is very expensive to get sick in this country but does anyone pay attention to how many millions of dollars a year the insurance companies are making in profit? Let's make it a law that says the insurance companies can only make 1% profit per year -- all the rest either has to go into paying for the health care of its members or to lower premiums.

 
At 11/03/2005 10:45:00 AM, Blogger BotanicalGirl said...

When I had cable and was a volunteer EMT I loved watching "Trauma" because I never got to see anything remotely interesting in my district.

Along with your asystole comment, why was someone in a full neck collar *sitting up* on a gurney in the tv preview for the big Grey's Anatomy ep?

 

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